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Post by Admin on Dec 11, 2019 4:57:39 GMT
In the Discussion Thread, post thoughts on:
Chapter 5 & 6 Thread
1. Why is Mutual Purpose the entry condition of dialogue? Why is Mutual Respect the continuance condition of dialogue? 2. What role does an apology play in restoring safety? What have you noticed happens when you apologize?
3. What is Contrasting? When people misunderstand your purpose or respect, how can Contrasting help?
In the SHOUT BOX live conversation at the bottom of this page:
1. How do the “victim, villain, and helpless stories/narratives” impact our conversations?
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Post by lscott on Dec 12, 2019 18:14:13 GMT
Why is Mutual Purpose the entry condition of dialogue? Why is Mutual Respect the continuance condition of dialogue? Mutual purpose allows for a leveled plain field. It give a neutrality to the subject. Mutual respect is necessary is should be established without precedent.
What role does an apology play in restoring safety? What have you noticed happens when you apologize? An apology is recognition of not listening and acknowledgment of wrong doing on action taken or word spoken. I noticed that when I apologize it de-escalates the emotional responses.
What is Contrasting? When people misunderstand your purpose or respect, how can Contrasting help? Contrasting is the ability to reflect, and reword your thoughts when having a conversation so that they don't come off as defensive or accusatory but instead they acknowledge the other persons feeling by speaking what you mean to say instead of generalizing opinions. Contrasting can help because it provides clarity to the subject instead of assumptions.
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Post by kingcl on Dec 12, 2019 18:28:52 GMT
In the Discussion Thread, post thoughts on:
Chapter 5 & 6 Thread
1. Why is Mutual Purpose the entry condition of dialogue? Why is Mutual Respect the continuance condition of dialogue? 2. What role does an apology play in restoring safety? What have you noticed happens when you apologize?
3. What is Contrasting? When people misunderstand your purpose or respect, how can Contrasting help?
In the SHOUT BOX live conversation at the bottom of this page:
1. How do the “victim, villain, and helpless stories/narratives” impact our conversations?
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Post by kingcl on Dec 12, 2019 18:29:35 GMT
In the Discussion Thread, post thoughts on:
Chapter 5 & 6 Thread
1. Why is Mutual Purpose the entry condition of dialogue? Why is Mutual Respect the continuance condition of dialogue? 2. What role does an apology play in restoring safety? What have you noticed happens when you apologize?
3. What is Contrasting? When people misunderstand your purpose or respect, how can Contrasting help?
In the SHOUT BOX live conversation at the bottom of this page:
1. How do the “victim, villain, and helpless stories/narratives” impact our conversations?
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Post by saraconrad on Dec 12, 2019 18:39:47 GMT
1. Mutual Purpose: Mutual purpose sets the tone. It is a non-sided, sort of equal setting that provides a foundation of respect.
2. Apologies: Apologies happen when someone recognizes they messed up in some way. I would add that a true apology doesn't have the word "but" in it...It's true recognition of the mistake. I had a crucial conversation with a colleague the other day. I needed to apologize for misunderstanding her question about an assignment and for taking extra, precious time due to my misunderstanding.
3. Contrasting: Contrasting is an inward pause to consider how to word something before speaking. It protects you from sounding defensive, which can easily turn the conversation into a misinterpreted mess! It gets your point across to others with no or limited openings for unintended feelings that may deter the conversation from the actual goal.
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Post by butlerme17 on Dec 12, 2019 18:48:45 GMT
1. Why is Mutual Purpose the entry condition of dialogue? Why is Mutual Respect the continuance condition of dialogue? Mutual purpose is important because there needs to be trust you are working together for something you both share in common. Mutual respect is in continuation condition of dialogue because it is like air. We need it to be able to continue in a healthy safe way. 2. What role does an apology play in restoring safety? It can help re-establish trust and show the continued commitment to Mutual Purpose. 3. What is Contrasting? When people misunderstand your purpose or respect, how can Contrasting help? Contrasting is a way to step out of an argument and rebuild safety. It establishes what you don’t want and do want.
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amya
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by amya on Dec 13, 2019 18:19:44 GMT
Identifying a mutual purpose can reframe a situation and in some situations bring both parties to a place where they are willing to participate in a conversation. Mutual purpose stops the debate and steers the direction toward finding the common ground. Mutual respect brings a sense of genuineness to a situation. When I feel that someone is not genuine in their remarks I check out of the conversation quickly and seldom respond because I feel that the other person is just going through the motions. In apologizing we own our mistake and acknowledge that our actions/words had a negative impact on another. Apologies are necessary in moving forward, but only when they are sincere. When someone apologizes to me I feel like I have been heard and my perspective understood while generally at the same time, am learning about the other person's perspective. I don't believe that most of the time, people are intentionally trying to hurt another.
I've done a little practicing with contrasting this week and found it really helpful for myself in understanding what I do want, and in alleviating the other person's stress/anxiety about what they might anticipate my motives to be. Contrasting allows you to be clear in not only what you DO want, but also being clear in what you DON'T want (what the other person assumed you did want and hence made them upset).
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amya
New Member
Posts: 8
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Post by amya on Dec 13, 2019 18:27:05 GMT
1. Mutual Purpose: Mutual purpose sets the tone. It is a non-sided, sort of equal setting that provides a foundation of respect. 2. Apologies: Apologies happen when someone recognizes they messed up in some way. I would add that a true apology doesn't have the word "but" in it...It's true recognition of the mistake. I had a crucial conversation with a colleague the other day. I needed to apologize for misunderstanding her question about an assignment and for taking extra, precious time due to my misunderstanding. 3. Contrasting: Contrasting is an inward pause to consider how to word something before speaking. It protects you from sounding defensive, which can easily turn the conversation into a misinterpreted mess! It gets your point across to others with no or limited openings for unintended feelings that may deter the conversation from the actual goal. I agree with the comment about the word "but" in an apology. When I hear I'm sorry, but... I usually think, maybe that person isn't ready to apologize and instead is still wanting to debate their "rightness."
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